+My Quarter Life

I may never reach my mid-life. Yet I am trapped in a dilemma called quarter life crisis. I am 25 years old. I have a stable job as a Specialist in one of the BPO industries in the metro. My work is routinary, monotonous, less demanding and they pay me well. They give me an easy life that I couldn't complain. I had stopped dreaming of moving up the corporate ladder eversince I had leveled up three months after I started working. In my job, I feel idle and I am bored and yet again, they pay me well for doing nothing. And it's hard for me to let this go of this wonderful career!

After spending ten hours with my tireless job, I go home -- watch local melodramatic soap operas or religiously follow the latest episodes of Grey's anatomy. And if I get lucky, I can stare blankly into space.
This is my life.

When I get bored, I go to the farthest Starbucks to grab a hot cup of tea -- always to go. I am always in a hurry to go somewhere, nowhere but home.
I go out with friends, occasionally, according to their availability. According to availability since whenever I call or text them, they are with their lovers or have prior engagements. Yes, I am unattached which is apparently not my choice.
I go on dates, sometimes (heck, I do go out on dates). Most often than not, they don't work out well. Perhaps I have this invisible scarlet letter that stands "off-limits". It must have shown that I am half in love with my best friend, the only guy friend that I haven't slept with.

I don't know where I am and I don't know where I am going. I've bought my own copy of The Purpose Driven Life years back, read it a dozen of times and here I am still purposeless. Of the emotional stress, I've had indulged myself to home made sauna baths (the so called "himasmo"), thai massages, facials and manicures to ease whatever stress that I am going through but to no avail.

One day, I picked up the phone and called my best friend. I cried a bucket. She asked me what was wrong. But all I did was cried a bucket more. She understood as I hung up. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Perhaps all the sickness that I had called came to me. I saw my family, closest friends ad even the bastard who broke my heart smiling warmly at me. I was happy to see all of them. They were there and they care. It made me wonder if I should get into the hospital often just to let me know they care.

I was well again. I went home, breathed heavily and sighed. I went back to work and got on with my life. I realized that everyday is going to be a new day. I should get a new vision and keep pressing forward. This is my life now and I should embrace it.

This article was published in SunStar last May 3, 2008.